tea

GABE YOU ARE NEVER AROUND WHEN I NEED YOU

So much rage.  Oh my god.
The most homophobic and transphobic asshole I know NEEDS TO DIE RIGHT NOW PLZKTHX. He has gone far enough. Far e-fucking-nough.

AAGH I can't even fucking blog about it. GABE. GABE STOP HAVING SEX AND COME TALK TO ME! I NEED YOU.

THIS LEMON DOES *NOT LOOK ANGRY ENOUGH*.
  • Current Mood
    enraged enraged
washdinosaurs

Writer's Block: Invisibility cloak

If you could be invisible for a day, where would you go and what would you do? Do you think you might be upset by what you discovered?


Girls' changeroom.
Wait... I already can do that. Hm.

Oh wait wait wait! BOYS' changeroom! AHAHAHA YES. I would go into the boys' changeroom and just fuck with them. There would be pinching. And groping. And mysterious giggling. And it would be HILARIOUS and there would be MAYHEM. :D This may very well be the best idea I've ever had in my life. I think I need to do this now. Become invisible, sneak into the boys' changeroom, and cause havoc. RAWK.
lesbians!

WOO

YES I'VE DONE THIS BEFORE
NO I DON'T CARE
WOOOOOO
---
The rules to the musical survey? Put your music player on shuffle. Answer each question using the first few lines of the song lyrics only. Put the song you got the lyrics from in parantheses so we know!

1. When you met the person you now love, what happened?:
"If I had a million dollars/If I had a million dollars/Well I'd buy you a house/I would buy you a house"
(If I Had $1000000 -- Barenaked Ladies)

2. What did you say when you first woke up?:
"Big wheels keep on turnin'/Carry me home to see my kin/Singin' songs about the southland/I miss Alabammy once again/And I think it's a sin, yeah"
(Sweet Home Alabama -- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

3. What are your religious beliefs?:
"Have you seen the little piggies/Crawling in the dirt/And for all the little piggies/Life is getting worse/Always having dirt to play around in"
(Piggies -- The Beatles)

4. Did you realize anything today?:
"She's on another planet, she's in my dream/She's some kind of angel, if you know what I mean/Try her on and she fits like a glove/Too bad she only thinks about the Lord above"
(Evangeline -- Matthew Sweet)

5. What do you need right now?:
"All the men in my life keep getting killed by Candarian demons/First there was Ed/A really nice guy/Didn't talk too much but I didn't mind"
(All The Men In My Life Keep Getting Killed By Candarian Demons -- Evil Dead: The Musical)

6. What's your favorite food?:
"By a lonely prison wall/I heard a young girl calling/Michael, they have taken you away/For you stole Trevallion's corn/So the young might see the morn/Now a prison ship lies waiting in the bay"
(Fields of Athenry -- Dropkick Murphys)

7. How are you feeling today?:
"My life is brilliant/My life is brilliant/My love is pure/I saw an angel/Of that I'm sure"
(You're Beautiful -- James Blunt)

8. What do you want to do today?:
"Down once more to the dungeons of my black despair/Down we plunge to the prison of my mind/Down that path into darkness deep as hell"
(Down Once More/Track Down This Murderer -- Phantom of the Opera)

9. What do you think people will say at your funeral?:
"I saw you this morning/You were moving so fast/Can't seem to loosen my grip/On the past/And I miss you so much/There's no one in sight/And we're still making love/In my secret life"
(In My Secret Life -- Leonard Cohen)

10. What is your biggest fear?:
"Roll up/Roll up for the Mystery Tour/Roll up/Roll up for the Mystery Tour"
(The Magical Mystery Tour -- The Beatles)

12. What are you thinking of right now?:
"You can't kill the metal/The metal will live on/Punk rock tried to kill the metal/But they failed, as they were smote to the ground"
(The Metal -- Tenacious D)

13. What's your favorite color?:
"Once upon a time you dressed so fine/Threw the bums a dime, in your prime/Didn't you?/People called, say Beware doll/You're bound to fall, you thought they were all/A-kiddin' you"
(Like A Rolling Stone -- Bob Dylan)

14. Are you up-to-date with things?:
"Without you/The ground thaws/The rain falls/The grass grows/Without you/The seeds root/The flowers bloom/The children play"
(Without You -- Rent)

15. Describe your looks to us:
"I am a poor wayfaring stranger/Travelling through this world of woe/But there's no sickness, toil or danger/In that bright, bright land/To which I go"
(Poor Wayfaring Stranger -- Natalie Merchant)

16. If I left, what would you do?:
"Summer has come and past/The innocent can never last/Wake me up when September ends/Like my father's come to pass/Seven years has gone so fast/Wake me up when September ends"
(Wake Me Up When September Ends -- Green Day)

17. What's the best advice anyone has ever given you?
"The sweet pretty things are in bed now of course/The city fathers they're trying to endorse/The reincarnation of Paul Revere's horse/But the town has no need to be nervous"
(Tombstone Blues -- Bob Dylan)

18. When someone yells at you, what do you say?:
"Yesterday/All my troubles seemed so far away/Now it looks as though they're here to stay/Oh I believe in yesterday"
(Yesterday -- The Beatles)

19. What question do you want to ask someone?
"What do you do with a B.A. in English/What is my life going to be/Four years of college/And plenty of knowledge/Have earned me this useless degree"
(What Do You Do With A B.A. In English/It Sucks To Be Me -- Avenue Q)

20. Last but not least, what do you think of people?:
"I never jumped in and rescued you/But I wanted to/I didn't tell you which way to go/Cause I thought you'd know"
(Told You So -- Barenaked Ladies)

  • Current Mood
    giddy giddy
corrections

Marvel vs. DC

The thing about DC Comics (and Batman in particular) is that I identify with the villains far more tan I ever do with the heroes. Most of the villains, in the movies I've seen and the things that I've read, were victims of cruelty and misfortune, driven to evil by a world that showed them no mercy and no pity.

Take the Riddler, for example, in Batman Forever. Edward Nigma, working for his hero and idol Bruce Wayne, wanted to show him a new invention. Wayne flat-out rejected his idea, calling it "mind control". Nigma was CRUSHED. In the movie, you can see in his face the exact moment where what was once mere eccentricity turns into total psychosis, spurred by Bruce Wayne's unsympathetic rejection.

Another example? The Penguin. In the backstories I've read, it seems to be that he was an ugly, deformed child; short, fat, long beaky nose, bow-legged, and only three fingers to each hand. He was teased and berated by all of his peers, as well as neglected by his parents. Again, the world showed him no mercy, and thus he was turned to villainy.

Two-Face is yet another example. In The Dark Knight, it pretty much is Batman's fault that he was hideously mutilated. It was done solely to get to Batman. Even in Batman Forever, Two-Face was a victim of circumstance. Acid was thrown in his face for absolutely no reason and it messed with his mind to the extent that he became schizophrenic and evil.

Lastly, THE JOKER. In every imagining of him I've seen, I find him to be a victim. In The Dark Knight, he was a victim of child abuse (from what I can gather, at least) that drove him to supervillainy. In Batman (with Michael Keaton), he fell into the vat of chemicals due to an accident, and his face was further mutilated by botched plastic surgery. But the worst I've ever heard was actually in the comic itself. The Joker was a failing comedian -- "You don't know what it's like... I stand up there, and nobody laughs..." -- who was forced into doing dirty work for the mob. They framed him for their crimes, and caused him to fall into the vat of chemicals that destroyed his appearance. To add insult to injury, his pregnant wife died that same day (some stories say that it was a household accident, others say that she was kidnapped and murdered to force the Joker's compliance). That is misfortune at his highest. I know *I'd* be driven to insanity and supervillainy after that.

Instead of trying to help these people, Batman works by beating them up and tossing them unceremoniously into Arkham Asylum. He doesn't try to help them get better, doesn't get them counselling, nothing. Just sticks them in solitary confinement, expects that to solve their problems, and acts surprised when it doesn't.

My hate of DC comics, while focused on Batman, is not limited to him. Superman also shares in my loathing. While Lex Luthor, the supposed villain, achieves his means through invention, intelligence, and thoughtfulness, Superman achieves HIS means by punching things and inventing new powers like super-weaving. Moreover, both "heroes" are complete jerks. How many comic book covers have shown Superman refusing to help Jimmy Olson or Lois Lane out of trouble? How many hearts has Batman broken because he needs to keep to his strict schedule of brooding? How much collateral damage has Superman caused? Batman? In Batman Forever, Dick Grayson tries to convince Batman to let him work with him. As an acrobat, Grayson would in fact be incredibly useful. Batman, however, rejects him, like he rejects everyone who tries to get close to him.

Now. As for Marvel.

Marvel is like what would happen if the villains of DC were good instead of evil. Spider-Man, for instance, was a total geek. Beaten up, teased, rejected by the pretty girl he loves -- he faced a great deal of torment, culminating in the murder of his Uncle Ben (a surrogate father for him). If it had been a DC comic, Spider-Man would have become evil. But not in Marvel. Instead, Peter Parker resolves to become a superhero and protect the people who ruined his life as a teenager.

Iron Man. Tony Stark was kept prisoner by terrorists, certain to be killed, until he used his genius and mechanical skill to construct a suit that allowed him to fight his way out, out of what amounts to scrap metal. He builds himself a new heart out of the same scraps. He faces alcoholism, hate from groups that don't like his business of manufacturing weapons, and yet he still resolves to fight crime, despite the adversity he faced.

The X-Men. MUTANTS. Hated by the normal people, rejected from all society, they still work tirelessly to protect the people who hate them. The Hulk. Mild-mannered geek Bruce Banner is turned into a monster, hated and attacked by everyone he sees, and still he fights diligently to protect them. The list goes on. Marvel heroes are DC villains made good.

This is why I love Marvel comics. As someone who has faced bullying and generally shitty situations, I identify with people like that. In DC comics, then, I inevitably identify with the illains, and therefore I feel inherent loathing for the heroes that attack them. In Marvel, though, I can identify with the heroes. And that makes me happy.

So yeah. There that is.
  • Current Mood
    annoyed annoyed
washdinosaurs

Writer's Block: Between the slices

What's your favorite sandwich? Do you make it yourself or go somewhere special to buy it? What's in it?!


CHICKENNNNN SANDWIIIIIICH.
I love chicken sandwiches. I get Pillar's (I think it's Pillar's) cooked chicken in pieces, I get a hamburger bun, I get mayonnaise. I put mayonnaise on hamburger bun, I put in chicken, I salt it lightly, I DEVOUR. Delicious.

Although I also like Mr. Sub's veggie subs. I get lettuce, NO TOMATO, cucumber, green pepper, onion, mayo, sub sauce. On white. Double cheese. DELICIOUS.

Ilikesandwiches.
lesbians!

dinosaurs, lesbians, and lesbian dinosaurs

I have a friend. His name is Gabe. My friend Gabe is totally awesome. He writes and his life is full of interestingness and drama and sexytimes and alcohol and Mystery Hot Guys and moose pants and... yeah.
We seem to have bonded a lot over the past few days/weeks. We have random conversations about lesbians, dinosaurs, lesbian dinosaurs, music, sex, vaginas, penises, past relationships, socks, things that make us angry, things that make us happy, things that are fuzzy, things that are not fuzzy but still cool, and... yeah. We're sexy-awesome, is basically what I'm trying to get at.

We've decided that we're going to keep diaries of fake lives -- happier lives -- so we can feel better about how crappy ours are. I will write the first entry tonight, and I think it'll be friends-only, just so it's separate from my actual journal. I believe it'll contain a chronicle of my totally uncomplicated sexuality, my extensive group of friends, my completely healthy mind, and my piles of talent and self-confidence.

ONWARD!

EDIT: Decided to make the Fake Life posts totally private. Might unlock them at some point, but right now I don't want to bother y'all with them.
  • Current Mood
    optimistic optimistic
tea

SLUT.

*SLUT*.
WHY WOULD YOU PUT PICTURES OF YOURSELF WITH HIM IN BED ON *FACEBOOK*?!
WHY WOULD YOU SUBJECT US ALL TO THAT?!
WHY WOULD YOU MAKE IT SO FUCKING OBVIOUS THAT  YOU WERE NOT EXACTLY *CLOTHED*?!
FUCKING *SLUT*! 

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU'RE A YEAR YOUNGER THAN ME AND TWICE AS SLUTTY?!
HOW?!

I HOPE TO GOD NO ONE ELSE SEES THOSE FUCKING PICTURES BUT OF COURSE THEY WILL
I HOPE TO GOD OUR MUTUAL FRIEND WHOSE HEART YOU BROKE DOESN'T SEE THOSE FUCKING PICTURES BUT OF COURSE HE WILL
I HOPE YOU AND YOUR FUCKTOY HAVE A *WONDERFUL FUCKING LIFE TOGETHER*
I HOPE HE GIVES YOU *GONORRHEA*, YOU FUCKING *SLUT*

DAMMIT GABE
YOU'RE NEVER AROUND WHEN I NEED YOU
  • Current Mood
    infuriated infuriated
lesbians!

such love

It was Valentine's Day today. I don't want to go into too much detail of what happened, but I just want to say a few things now.

I'm in love. I love her I love her I love her. She makes me dizzy when she kisses me. She makes me walk into walls and say stupid shit. She makes me feel like... I don't even KNOW, man. She's unbelievable. She's unreal. When I'm with her, I want to be witty and clever and make her feel half as lucky as I feel, but I always end up stumbling over my words and fucking up. I'm amazed she's with me, I'm amazed that she loves me too, I'm *amazed* that I managed to snag a gorgeous Amazonian redhead and... ohgod.

So. That was my day.

(Also, fuck you, I *never* do this. I'm allowed.)
  • Current Music
    There Is Life Outside Your Apartment -- Avenue Q